Educate yourself about the game:

Gain a basic understanding of the rules, techniques, strategies, and physical demands of your child’s sport so you can appreciate what they are doing, enjoy the games more, and talk about their experiences

Encourage your children to talk to and trust their coaches: 

Young people must learn to assert themselves and communicate. Teach them to confidently approach their coach for help, support, and direction. Show respect to the coach. It is important that your child learns to listen to, trust, and respect the coach’s wisdom and instruction.

Monitor their eating and sleeping habits: 

Proper sleep, nutrition, and adequate hydration are essential for performance. 

Remember that the game belongs to the kids: 

Be supportive of the young athletes’ experiences and emotions related to their sport, but remember that it is THEIR time to shine, grow, improve, make mistakes, and learn from them—model how you want them to behave.

Communicate positively with coaches: 

Be clear, appropriate, and respectful. Approach the coach when you are in a positive mood. Avoid addressing them when you’re upset. Remember that youth coaches have a difficult job. They may be volunteers and parents like you, and they want to help your kids develop and learn. 

Practice positive reinforcement: 

Be positive in all aspects of your children’s sports experiences. Focus on all that they do well, not on their mistakes. Let their coaches work with them to correct bad play.  

Focus on improving skills and learning new ones: 

Kids naturally like learning new things. Ask them about what their coaches are teaching them, give them opportunities to practice their new skills at home, or even teach them what they’re learning. 

Set attainable goals:  

Help your children set age-appropriate goals for practice, games, and the season. Focus on improving performance, learning new skills, and building bonds with teammates and coaches. And help them develop internal motivation to participate, work hard, compete, and attain those goals. 

Give your child autonomy: 

Ask them about what sports they want to play. Give them opportunities to try different sports, particularly when they are young. Allow your child to have some choice. Children do not need to specialize in one sport. 

Be supportive and enthusiastic, but be a place of calm if your child needs it: 

Recognize them when doing things right in practice and during competitions.  If they make a mistake, let them know that it is OK and encourage them to keep trying. Sometimes, your child needs some peace and comfort during the noise of the competition. They may look to you for that reassurance when competing. 

Allow your child to make their own mistakes and learn from them:   

When your child makes an error, ask what they think they could have done differently, what they learned, and if they would like feedback (not criticism or blame) from you (what you saw, what you think they could have done differently). Sometimes, it is best to let your child approach you for your feedback instead of offering it freely and often. This can avoid some frustration on both sides.

Be interested, supportive, understanding, and lighthearted: 

Accept and tolerate your child’s learning process and physical abilities. Tell them that you enjoy their participation and successes, large or small. Help them learn that sports are a game and not an indication of their worth or yours. 

Be flexible in your thoughts and opinions:  

Be willing to admit you are wrong. Listen to your child’s perspective and let go of the need to be right or in control. The child is ultimately the expert on themselves. 

Parents should try to avoid:

Trying to relive their dreams through their child:

While it is important that parents support their young athletes, they should not try to live out their athletic dreams through their child. This will only add more pressure if the child feels that they have to live out their dreams and yours. Your success does not necessarily mean your child will excel. Their path will be theirs and only theirs.

Making excuses: 

If your child or their team does not perform well, don’t blame the equipment, coaches, other players, referees, or even the weather. Kids should learn to be accountable for the things they can control and not to blame others. Focusing on what they can control allows them to consider what they could have done differently and learn from their mistakes.

Pushing their child too hard:

Children who are pushed beyond their capabilities may lose their self-confidence, become resistant and resentful toward their parents, become unsure of themselves and their abilities, and may stop trying.  They may also show changes in eating and/or sleeping habits.

Expecting perfection and making their performance about you and not them:  

Perfectionism is hard to live up to.  Making a child feel guilty because of how their performance made their parent look can be very detrimental to their confidence.  A young athlete should not be responsible for appeasing their parents’ ego or reputation.